Circumspice Literary

Every time she tried to shut the thoughts out, they kept creeping in.  I know he’s saying ‘cuckoo cachoooo’ not ‘good job.’ That’s ridiculous.  “No, stop,” she told herself.  “Focus on the mantra.” I wonder if Dr. Singh got my notes.  I told him to confirm that he did.  Is he just giving me space not thinking I’ll check my email?  Maybe that’s it.  Still, it wouldn’t hurt him to respond.  I think it’s rather rude to just assume that I would not welcome the respite if that’s what he thought.  “No, Anjly, mantra.”

            My hair still smells like sandalwood smoke.  If my hair still smells of it, then how long is it going to take to get it out of my clothes?  Do I even want it out of my clothes?  It is the very last reminder of him.  It does not hurt me to have a faint hint of sandalwood.  It’s s like a small part of him is still with me.  “MANTRA!”

            Don’t scream at yourself.  You’re supposed to be calming your mind.  Just breathe, don’t think. 

            With each inhalation she said to herself, cleanse my body.  With each exhalation, make whole my mind.

            Cleanse my body.  Make whole my mind.

            Cleanse my body.  Make whole my mind.

            Cleanse my body.  Make whole my mind.

            Cleanse my body.  Make whole my mind.

            Cleanse my body.  Make whole my mind.

            Then she saw it.  In the distance of her closed eye vision was a faint point of fuchsia light.  The point of light grew and began to swirl.  Other points of light then danced and burst like fireworks in her vision as they settled into blooming petals climbing on growing vines.